Time is the one thing that can never be retrieved. One may lose and regain a friend; one may lose and regain money; opportunity once spurned may come again; but the hours that are lost in idleness can never be brought back to be used in gainful pursuits. Most careers are made or marred in the hours after supper.
-- C. R. Lawton
Where do I find this crap?
Tom and I ..snarfed.. a giant pile of jokes & quotes from Mike Fryd's joke program running on CMU's TOPSA.ARPA in 1985. As a graduate student in the 80's, Mike Fryd wrote a phototypsetting language called SCRIBE, and then, if I recall correctly, sold for a nice chunk and apparently became some kind of beach bum in Florida.
I've been dragging the stolen joke collection around with me in a file called yukko.dat ever since. It seems to have a different lineage than fortune, and is a nostalgic relic from the CMU Tops-20 culture, so this weird file of old jokes is special to me. joke is the first program I write in any new programming language that I learn, since it exercises primitive string operators, file I/O, and calling a decent random number generator.
Mike Fryd also has the distinction of having participated in the CMU bboard thread where the smiley was invented. Although, unfortunately for the purposes of this post, he was not the one to invent it. :-(